Applying NLP: What, How And When

The first and most important lesson I learned in the Hypnotherapy College is this: "Accept and use whatever happens and make it work for your outcome." Here's an example of what this means. Let's say that you're with a client, and someone interrupts your session. Treat it as though it was all planned.

When you're a therapist, coach, consultant, motivational speaker, or any other agent of change, your outcome is to get your client the outcome they're paying you to help them achieve. Therefore, anything that happens during the process is OK! I have learned this lesson in the context of hypnotherapy, but it applies for NLP change-work as well.

It is not YOU who is making new understandings for your client; it is your client's brain that is making them. You are not changing your client's behavior. Your job is to direct your client's mind through a process and let "it" do the work. To make NLP work for your client, you must assume that your client's mind is already changing that discouraging thought pattern or disabling set of behaviors. Once you assume that, all you have to do is:

choose the right pattern,work with your client through that pattern,accept and use whatever happens, making it work for your outcome (sound familiar?)compare the feedback to the given outcome, andproceed accordingly.If the feedback and the outcome are aligned, which means your client has achieved what they asked for, then your job is done. If not, you reevaluate the session, choose a more appropriate pattern, perhaps also induce hypnosis in your client (to reduce subconscious secondary gain-based objections), and aim for the same outcome again.

But remember to maintain high sensory acuity. Be "out there"; observe, absorb, and constantly evaluate direct and indirect messages from your client, working with whatever happens so as to facilitate the change your client is paying you for.

Another lesson I learned early in my training is that you should never make your client a friend. Yes, of course, you can have social relationships with your clients, but AFTER you've done the change work. It is much better not to accept relatives, close family members, or friends as clients, for many reasons. The main reason is that no matter how good your intentions, your relationship with them stands in the way of their progress.

On the other hand, it is also not for your client's benefit if you become friendly with them early on in the sessions. Stay formal. Be the authority they may need in order to change themselves. Avoid humor in the first session at least, and never tell jokes or lose control over the session. You are paid to help the person produce new results, not to be a comedian or just another friend. If your client suspects, even subconsciously, that your lack of skill is covered by humor and needy behavior, your prospects of success with them will be dim.

Stay focused on one outcome at a time. Don't spread yourself too thin or work on 10 different issues in one session. Give their mind some time for processing, for reorganizing, for venting, for recovering, for grieving (a common need of ex-addicts), and so on. Give them the time to see one or two outcomes first, so that when they return to you their motivation and confidence in your skills will be strong.

Last Updated on Tuesday, 16 April 2013 00:41  

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Astrology Not a Matter of Faith

A second misconception about astrology is that to be an astrologer, you have to somehow "believe" in astrology. Astrology is not a question of belief, any more than you believe in psychology. It is not a question of belief, but one of use. I often find astrology useful in my life as a way of understanding who I am and what my life is about, plain and simple. I don't "believe" in astrology. I use it when I find it useful, and leave it alone, when I don't, like any other tool. Astrology is useful or it is not.

In summary, astrology is a study of heavenly cycles and cosmic events as they are reflected in our earthly environment and vice versa -- a vast cosmic clock. Astrologers find the cosmic patterns revealed in the rhythmic motions of the planets useful in shedding light on the seeming helter-skelter of everyday life. Astrologers do study the sky writing in the heavens, but only to better live life here on the Earth.

 

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Celestial Influences

One popular misconception about astrology is that the planets out there in the heavens cause events to happen down here on the earth. Professional astrologers that I have known, and I have known many, do not hold with these theories of "celestial influence," that planets somehow make things happen to us. Instead, modern astrologers see the heavens and the earth as one whole entity, interpenetrating, and sharing the same space and time, which in fact is the case.

They do not see the various planetary configurations as causing events to happen here on earth, but rather see the earth (itself a planet) and all the other planets as interacting in the very same space, and as sharing whatever events are occurring. In other words, whatever events taking place out there in the heavens are also happening down here on earth. Neither is the cause of the other; both are happening simultaneously. The planetary configurations are just grand signatures (like writing in the sky), signs of events happening right here in our own lives. Both are the product of the same moment, one acted out in the heavens above, the other here on the Earth below.

In other words, there is only one grand "play" or moment. The great drama enacted in the sky above is also acted out (in exact detail) here on Earth, and in the same moment. Another way to say this is that the Earth is part of the cosmos and shares in that cosmic moment. Astrologers tend to feel that all major cosmic events (eclipses, etc.) are interactive; they represent an activity also taking place within our self and consciousness.

 

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Lighting According To Vastu

There are three basic types of lighting which are categorized according to the intensity of the light used.

General lighting - It supplies an overall illumination in the area. Task lighting - It supplies the required illumination for specific tasks such as reading , painting etc. It directs strong local illumination without high general illumination as required for activities carried in a particular area.Accent lighting - It offers a decorative element to the area by highlighting the particular objects or features in the area. They are auxiliary to the general lighting and provide an added , and at times , dramatic dimensions to the scheme.

Spaces can be provided with one , two or all types of these lighting's , depending upon the requirement . With different types of lighting in each room and dimmers to adjust the intensity of light , an ordinary space can be infused with much dramatic look to convey different moods to suit different times of the day.

Light can define space , substance and style. Outdoors , with the shifting sun and atmospheric conditions , light and the shadows change the appearance of things natural and man made. But in the indoors, the play of natural and artificial lighting largely determine both function and decoration. Today lighting is considered to be a very important element of decorating scheme. The invention of the incandescent bulb in 1978 revolutionized lighting systems as it allowed light to be easily manipulated. Apart from exploiting natural light by using opaque or transparent glass walls , sky lights , large windows etc. for offices , architect work out the detailed light fittings which are conducive for a work environment.

In homes , a careful selection of lights extends and enhances the aesthetics of interiors. Similarly for hotels, showrooms, museums, gardens, water bodies, individual lighting requirements are worked out. Artificial light falling from various angles and heights on different surfaces guide us to perceive various features and dimensions while creating a specific mood. With technological developments and the stress on precision lighting , a variety of lighting fixtures are readily available with options which offer manifold possibilities in terms of effect.

The choice of fitting according to the room , gets very difficult , one gets puzzled off as there are so many varieties in lights like the table lamps, spot lights, clamp lights, recessed / surface mounted lights, uplighters, halogens, incandescent bulb, pendants, fluorescent fixtures and lots of others. Once the basic idea of the space, mood, interior design, highlighting, function of work have been specified, one can then consider the basic types of lighting. Initially only the planned positions of lights need to be decided. Later , the selection of bulbs and the exact effect can be created. One should always keep in mind some of the basic rules while designing the light.

Every activity that takes place in the interior must have lights of the right kind , intensity and the right direction.The eye prefers even lighting with the minimum of contrast between the brightness of the room surfaces and the lighting fixtures.The eye works best when the work surface is more brightly lit then the surroundings.The eye is stimulated by the contrast of tone and sparkle.When room lighting change , color changes or disappear , thus objects become more or less important in the room.

Planning and designing is a tedious job. Today's bathroom wears a well dressed look , its design recognizing people's needs to begin and end their day in pleasant surroundings. It is after all an intimate personal place- perhaps the only room in the house where one can be totally private and get much needed peace.

For a relatively small room , the bath area can use a no. of different types of lighting.General lighting is essential in a compact bath , a central ceiling may suffice.Medium size and large size baths and especially those with sectioned areas for tub , shower and toilet will require several overhead fixtures.The lights are general , recessed into the ceilings or those over a tub or a shower must be watertight and vapour proof . A minimum of 100W incandescent or 60W fluorescent lamp is sufficient.The most critical lighting in a bath centers around the mirror area , this is the basic for good grooming. For shaving , make up applications hair care , light should be soft and diffused without glare or shadow.Avoid lighting the mirror itself rather light of the person looking into the mirrorThe most efficient to light up a person's face is to use three fixtures , one on either side of the mirror and one overhead. Side fixtures should be mounted 30"36" apart on the wall and install about 60" above the floor.Incandescent fixtures should have a minimum of 75W bulb and fluorescent tubes on either side of 20W and one tube of 30W or two tubes of 15W overhead. Additional bath lighting for specific purposes may include plant lights to take the advantage of bath humidity for growing the flowers and ferns.

The study is the most important room for the intellectuals , for students as this is the room where one builds his carrer. In the reading room , one should plan the lights very carefully as the intensity affects a lot on the eyes thus on the health.

In a study , the priority is to provide adequate illumination for reading and writing. For maximum pleasure of reading and for easier concentration , reading lamps must have a proper quality and quantity of illumination and be placed so that the light falls comfortably on the open page.The complete room may be lit with powerful up lighters , down lighters , or the general lighting may be reduced to be supplemented with task lights as requiredFor the study it is necessary that task lights be supported with general illumination even if it is of low intensity to avoid eye strain.Care should be taken where computers are placed , the task light should not produce glare or reflections on the screen. Task lights for writing should be positioned so as to avoid both glare and shadow.If floor lamps are used as reading lights , then it should be 40"-49" from the floor to the bottom edge of the shade. The shade should be moderately illuminous to softly diffuse the light and eliminate glare , thus open top shades are preferred.

The bedroom is a place where one can be totally oneself. It is the room where we spend the maximum amount of time - to sleep , relax and unwind , after a long tiring day and rejuvenate oneself for the tomorrow.

The lighting should be a soothing general illumination . If want to highlight some paintings or photographs , one can go for a task lighting in this area.Up lighters look very beautiful , dimmers can be very useful to play with the intensity of the light as per mood.Lights should be planned in such a way that it must create a light, romantic, relaxing environment. Table lamps or hanging lamp shades provides the room a very aesthetic look.

Water presents a challenging and rewarding medium for lighting. Swimming pools, fountains, waterfalls magically come to life with lighting effects at night.

For effective swimming pool lighting , the lights are generally set below the water level , into the sides of the pool.This should be done while the construction of the pool so as to keep the wiring away from water.The lights should be placed to shimmer down the deep end of the pool.Fountains are effectively lit by submerged narrow beam sources set near the base of each jet or falling on the flowing water casting a color and sparkle on it. Waterfall comes to life when lit from behind.

Garden is a place where man interacts and is near to the mother nature even at the time when we are on the verge of destroying it.

Lighting should be planned according to desired landscape lighting effects as well as providing adequate light for walking , security etc.All lights , wiring and metal work should be able to resist weather conditions for a prolonged period of time like dust , moisture and corrosion.The lighting should illuminate select areas , should create striking effects and keeps what is to be concealed in shadows.Thus , the way of lighting drastically changes the way of living and mood of the environment. So one must be very careful while planning the lights and choosing the fixtures as in the end , if worked carelessly , it can result into mis match of everything.

The term lighting refers to the useful energy output of a system consisting of light sources , fixtures to support them in appropriate locations , wiring channels to activate the light sources and the convenient electrical controls. Here are the tips on how to maintain the lighting system in different rooms according to the ambience .

Living Room Lighting: The living room is the core of domestic life. People decorate them according to their interest , but the one element that is common to all is the intangible style , which is not dictated by prevailing trends or large amounts of money. Here are some basics how to illuminate it properly.

Establish an adequate general illumination level to reduce the accent light, brightness, contrast.Illuminate an entire wall with overhead fixtures to provide background for room furnishings.Feature window areas with the cosmic lighting.Indirect light like that under a pelment or above a cabinet will supply soft uniform illumination.Use dimmers to program lighting moods.Play up with the architectural features like aala , niches , mantles etc.Highlight artwork and plants with individual lighting arrangements.Be sure that the floor , table and hanging fixtures have adequate shades to prevent glare.Plan adequate lighting to handle a variety of family activities like rack for display.Bar area could use incandescent light to play up sparkling glassware. Lighted shelves or fluorescent fixtures under the front edge of bar are effective.

The decor of dining room depends upon the culture of the family. A dining room can change the style of eating. So one should be careful while playing with the lights to make the environment relax and easy.

One must keep the visual emphasis off the ceiling and walls and on the decor of food and guests.Ceiling down lights should fall and focus primarily on dining room table surface.Candles and fuel lamps in decorative holders can add special touch to any meal.Buffey or service areas and chinaware/silverware/crockery displays deserve special lighting emphasis.

Kitchen is a place where a lady spends her maximum time so it should have comfortable and fresh feeling. Today's kitchens are far removed from the dark dingy spaces one saw earlier.

General lighting for a kitchen should be well distributed , uniform and as shadow less as possible.Fluorescent fixtures reduce the energy demands without sacrificing illumination.Even if there is window in the kitchen , install down lighting over a sink for cloudy days or nights.Special lighting for key work areas can be installed in the ceiling or in the upper cabinets.Provide light for storage areas in pantry or wall cabinets overhead or shelf mounted brackets will do the job. 

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Pyramid Vastu

The literal meaning of pyramid is conocial stone pillar. According to the Egyptians the word pyramid is made from two words Pyra and Mid and their combined meaning is Tringular. Fire energy is generated in its center. Pyra means fire, indicator at the centre core or nuclei and mid means middle.

The ancient rishis of india and the metaphysicians have proved that maximum energy is generated in a triangle and its centre. For this reason a triangle is considered to be a source of energy.

Since a pyramid is constructed by four triangles, it is natural that any article or any shape which is constructed by a combination of four triangles will generate four times the energy and will provide four times more stability also. Hence a pyramid which is a symbol of four triangles provides stability. If we look at each triangle of the pyramid below we will find that the two angles at the base are of 58° each and the angle at the apex of the triangle is of 64°. The four triangular directions generate energy.

The base joining the four triangles is a square, this square foundation transmits the energy. Placed within the pyramid, the basic material of any object does not break down or scatter. lt is maintained in its original shape and composition. The pyramid has the powerto reconstruct the broken down or scattered material. For these reasons if pyramid is used onany person or in vastu, it produces miraculous results. It protects the physical, mental and intellectual powers of a person from deteriorating and keeps them strong and long lasting. No stink or impurities can sun/ive inside the pyramid. So any type of Vastu dosha or health problem can be treated by the use of pyramid.

The pyramid should be placed in a clean and airy place. Some side of the pyramid should be placed (samanantar) parallel to the North and South pole of the earth.

There should be no dirt near the pyramid and it should be kept away from electrical wires and appliances. But it can be placed on top of a computer or other electronic gadgets.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 17 April 2013 01:52  

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An Astrological Overview

Legend has it that Sir Isaac Newton, widely considered the greatest genius of all time, may have explored astrology. Newton had a complex, curious mind. In addition to inventing calculus and discovering the universal law of gravity, he was interested in alchemy (the quest to turn ordinary metals into gold), the Bible, and astrology. When his friend Edmund Halley (after whom the comet is named) made a disparaging remark about it, Newton, a conservative Capricorn, shot right back, “Sir, I have studied the subject. You have not.” Or so the story goes.

Like every other astrologer, I like to think that story might be true. After all, astrology has faded in and out of fashion, but it has never lacked followers. Catherine de Medici had Nostradamus as her astrologer, and other astrologers advised Napoleon, George Washington, J. P. Morgan, and Ronald Reagan. Yet in all that time, no one has provided a satisfying explanation as to why astrology works. Over the centuries, proponents of the ancient art have suggested that gravity must be the motor of astrology . . . or electromagnetism . . . or the metaphysical “law of correspondences.” Carl G. Jung summarized that view when he wrote, “We are born at a given moment, in a given place, and like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season in which we are born.”

I don’t know why astrology works, any more than Sir Isaac did. But I can assure you that it does work. The pattern that the planets made at the moment of your birth — that is, your birth chart or horoscope — describes your tendencies, abilities, challenges, and potential. It doesn’t predict your fate, though it does make some fates more easily achievable than others. The exact shape of your destiny, I believe, is up to you.

 

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Effects Of Rented House

What To Consider When Giving A Place On Rent

The Vastu as applicable to a house effects the tenant as well as the owner of the house. However, the adverse effects have considerable more effects on the owner of the house than on the tenant. If the owner is staying elsewhere the main effects will be on the tenant of the house.

According to Vastu, a owner of many houses will be effected by the Vastu defects in all those houses, and repetition of the same effect in more than one houses will lead to serious damages to the owner.

If any kind of religious activity is performed by the tenant in the house, the major benefit of such religious activities will go to the owner of the house and not to the tenant.

If the owner of the house and the tenant reside i the same building, Vastu advises that the owner should occupy the topmost floor and all the floors below should be rented out, i.e. a floor above the floor occupied by the owner must never be occupied by the tenant.

In case, when the owner and the tenant reside on the same floor. The owner of the house should live in the south or west portion of the house and only the north and east portion can be rented out. And an outhouse in the south west of the house must never be rented out as this may lead to tenant becoming dominant.

If only one room is to be rented out, Vastu advises to rent out a room in north or east and never in south or west portion of the house.

 

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